Continued...

When Tyler went to preschool, Jesse soaked up every ounce of my affection, attention and was thrilled to see Tyler when we picked him up. David and I discussed homeschooling Jesse because he had made a huge improvement. Last fall, we officially began homeschooling. Jesse soared academically. I realized that most of the therapy methods of teaching that I had learned with Tyler also worked great with Jesse. We used visual supports, rewards systems and lots of small short teaching sessions broken up with chores and motor activities. I knew that he still had his "quirks", a short attention span and listening comprehension problems, but I had patience and saw him soar when taught HIS way. Because we decided to homeschool, we started to make extra efforts to get Jesse into activities with other children and "socialize". This is when we noticed some social delays that concerned us both. I was also reading a book at the time that mentioned how some homeschooled boys grew up to resemble mama's boys and not the men we are trying to raise. Jesse bossed children around, sorted out disagreements out between younger children and acted as almost everyone's superior. My thought was, "OH no! He is turning into a MOTHER!" The author of that book was a well-known reformed author who was not against homeschooling by any means, but was noting a trend he saw with homeschooled boys. This led to an overnight (not quite thought out) decision to put Jesse into school. I communicated with his teacher often and informed her the best I could about Jesse. She immediately saw Jesse's differences when put in a class with peers the same age. The most notable difference was a language delay. He seemed confused often and needed constant assistance with his school work. We started the process of tests for Jesse. I really thought Jesse may have Aspergers syndrome. Aspergers is a high functioning form of autism. It is often associated with very intelligent individuals who struggle and fumble through the social world. This week, Jesse was diagnosed with PDD-NOS. This is also an autism spectrum disorder, but the children are not meeting ALL of the qualifications for an autism diagnosis. At the age of five, it is very hard to diagnose Aspergers because five year olds do not have many social expectations. His doctor did suggest that we reassess him age 8. That age will give a clearer picture on Jesse's level of fuctioning socially. Though Tyler's diagnosis shattered me, I have found comfort in this diagnosis. Jesse is who he is. This just EXPLAINS a lot. It also affects my atttitude toward his quirks. He isn't just a stubborn pain in the butt during Christmas gatherings, he is a kid with sensory issues and his language delays make it hard for him to voice his feelings. I love my son with all my heart and will do everything in my power to help him meet his potential--and he has a TON!

A New Course

When I started this blog, I dedicated it to Tyler and his journey through autism. Tyler's journey is now only a part of the story. He now has a partner in this race--Jesse. Jesse has always been a unique, amazing kid. He is BRILLIANT, and honestly the funniest kid I have ever met in my life. Though Jesse seemed to have a will of iron, he has given me the greatest joy a mom could know. When he was a toddler, we would sit in the floor for ages while I quizzed him on animals, their sounds, letters, and numbers (including spanish). The coolest thing was that Jesse seemed to thrive on learning new things. Jesse also loved to build. He would use every kind of block and even random objects. He would gather a stack of dishes, pile them on top of each other in these strange shapes and call it his rocket ship. He first worked the VCR at 12 months old. Jesse struggled with a slight language delay at two years old from ear infections, but ear tubes seemed to remedy the problem. Though Tyler had struggles even as an infant, Jesse still seemed to thrive and surpassed every developmental goal except for his slight speech delay. Our one struggle with Jesse was his will--a will of iron. There was no book or parenting method that would even come close to overtaking it. When he set his mind to something, it could easily turn into a 2+hour ordeal. As Tyler got older, Jesse also struggled with anxiety and large social gatherings. Holiday gatherings frequently turned into tantrum time. Though Jesse always had "quirks", he reached a real low point when Tyler was diagnosed with autism. The stress in the house affected Jesse in a very negative way. Therapists were constantly in and out of the house. Jesse obsessed about everything TYLER. He hid food and toys. He guarded his "stuff" from Tyler like a dog perched by his food bowl. Jesse packed loads of toys and trinkets everywhere he went and battled to keep his stuff with him all the time. He had developed some severe OCD tendencies that were making life very difficult. We were desperate to help him, but also very concerned for Tyler. We decided to put Jesse in therapy to help him sort through his anxieties and feelings. This really helped, but we saw the greatest improvement when Tyler started preschool. Jesse had time to get mom's full attention, and he thrived. TO BE CONTINUED......